


Last Kiss

by queencityxo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Bittersweet Ending, F/M, Plot, Song: Last Kiss (Taylor Swift), Songfic, failed realtionship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:21:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26006371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queencityxo/pseuds/queencityxo
Summary: You and Tooru's love was one for the books, but when it ends abruptly, you find yourself reminiscing on what was, and what could've been.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	Last Kiss

It felt like only moments ago that you could feel his heart beating out of his chest as the two of you laid in his dimly lit room, eyes filled with wonder and amazement at how lucky you were to be here with him. You laid in your bed, head resting on his chest, listening to his rapid pulse as the two of you caught your breath, naked bodies entangled with one another. The only thing better than the sex was the way he held you in his arms afterward, caressing your (h/c) hair, his touch tender and loving. 

" Toruu, " you whispered his name gently as you tried to recover your composure, a small smile playing on your lips. He looked down at you with a goofy grin, and while his hair was messy and his body dripped with sweat, he still managed to look absolutely perfect in your eyes. Letting out a questioning hum at the sound of his name falling from his lips, he held you a little tighter, your breasts pressed against his chest. " I want to stay here forever. " you sighed dreamily, looking up at him with tired eyes, feeling yourself being lulled to sleep. He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, and you could feel his breath tickle your ear as he leaned down.

" You're my forever. " He mumbled in your ear ever so lovingly, pressing a lingering kiss to your lips. At the time, you didn’t know it would be the last. City lights filtered in through the sheer curtains, and you took a moment to ponder how you'd ended up here. Your third year of high school felt like such a long time ago, but you remembered it vividly. 

You remembered what he wore the day he confessed to you, a plain white t shirt and a pair of jeans, his volleyball jacket pulling the outfit together. You remembered his somewhat nervous smile as the two of you joked about the rumors spreading through the school that you were an item. Despite being close friends at the time, you had always wondered what it would be like to be the girl that Oikawa chose. Your crush started out small, and you thought it would go away after time. That was before you found yourself staring at him while he wasn't looking, and cheering a little louder at his games. What was once a small school girl crush turned into full fledged feelings that you weren't quite sure how to handle. You realized you didn't just want to be his friend when you began to wonder what his lips would feel like on yours. Little did you know at the time, you wouldn't have to wonder anymore. 

" Well, we have to do something about it " you'd joked, looking up at him with a playful smile, but you'd noticed that he seemed different. He was quieter that day, and you saw he kept fidgeting with his hands, as well as gritting his teeth as you teased that you and him would ' Never happen in a million years. ' It was out of character for him, and quite frankly, that day you'd been scared that these rumors had tarnished your entire friendship. Was he going to distance himself from you to put an end to them? Would he stop talking to you completely ? That day, for the first time in your eighteen year friendship, you felt insecure in it. That day, he stopped walking beside you suddenly, coming to a full halt in the middle of the sidewalk. " Toruu what's wrong ? " you asked, a small frown on your forehead. You looked up at him expectantly, and while your naturally chatty nature kept most conversations afloat, his next statement put you at a loss for words. 

" (Y/N ) I really like you. " he stated casually with a small smile, looking down at your small frame. " I like you a lot,,,and honestly, the rumors don't bother me. " he stated pleasantly, starting to walk again casually as if he hadn't just dropped huge news. You stood there for a moment more, trying to decipher what the hell he'd just said to you. Snapping into sudden realization, you blinked a few times, trying to compose yourself before you ran after him. 

" Toruu, hey wait up ! " you exclaimed, barreling towards him like a mad man. He turned to look at you, a shit eating grin on his face. 

" Yes ? " he hummed, looking down at you as you tried to catch your breath walking alongside him. 

" Yes what ? Oikawa you just confessed to me! " You squeaked out, face red as a tomato. 

" I suppose I did, what about it ? " he looked down at you with a playful look in his eyes as you reached for his hand, tangling your fingers as you walked down that street hand in hand. " Is that your way of accepting (Y/N)? " he teased, a small laugh gracing your ears. You were too bashful to answer, embarrassed that you'd allowed him make you lose your composure. A blush dusting your cheeks as you walked to his house together, you noticed the eyes of your fellow classmates on that same route staring at you, whispering to one another.

" People are going to talk, you know ? " you mumbled softly. He squeezed your hand a little tighter, and without missing a beat that shit eating grin that you loved so much. 

" Let them. " 

Your romance lasted through the summer, and years after that. Your time together was exhilarating. Weekend trips to Kyoto, stolen kisses in the kitchen when your parents weren't looking, and long walks through the park watching the sunset with one another. You knew that when he'd been chosen to play volleyball in San Juan that it would be difficult for you two to maintain a relationship. Still, despite that you were filled with joy that what you thought was the love of your life had fulfilled his dream of becoming a professional volleyball player. He was amazing in every single way, and you couldn't help but admire his dedication. It was hard at first, the timezone was what threw you off the most. He was awake and practicing in the sun while you were up late at night cramming for your finals. Still, you both found the time to talk to one another on the phone at least once a day, and trips to Puerto Rico were always something to look forward to. Despite the distance, you'd made it work. You were both dedicated to your relationship, and the two of you often talked about your futures together, so how could you have seen what happened next coming? 

You knew he'd been crying when he called you that day, his breathing was unsteady, and when he asked you how your day had been, his voice cracked as if he were still holding them back. " (Y/N...) " he croaked out, the smile on your face slowly shifting into one of concern as you realized that today was different. 

" Toruu, what are you doing up ? It's so late over there, you need your rest. " you said softly, not willing to ask that one pesky question yet. You didn't think you'd like what you heard. 

" (Y/N I can't do this anymore. " His breath was shaky, and you could hear the remorse in his voice. You stilled completely, heart dropping to the bottom of your stomach. It didn’t hit you fully at first, so hesitantly you asked 

“ What do you mean ? “ You heard a choked sob from the other line, your lips tightening, pursed together in a thin line. “ Toruu, “ you said gently, your own voice cracking, “ You don’t mean that, “ you said gently. At the time, you thought that you were reassuring him, but looking back on it now, you knew that you were only trying to comfort yourself. 

“ It’s too hard- “ he whispered softly from the other line, a sniffle following as he tried to compose himself. “ With practice every day, tournaments, and trying to stay in touch it’s just- it’s just too much. (Y/N we have barely been talking at all recently, it’s been months since I’ve seen you and I just can’t keep going on like this. It hurts too much. “ He sounded ashamed of himself, and you ground your teeth harshly, your body tensing up. 

“ What else ? “ you asked through gritted teeth. There was something else, you knew there was. Everything had been normal a few days ago, so why the sudden change. You were met with silence. “ Toruu what else ? “ This time, your voice wasn’t as commanding, but more so a plea for the truth. You deserved that much.

“ (Y/N) I- “ he stopped himself, a sob wracking his body as guilt took over. “ There was somebody else. “ You could hear a pin drop in the room, and this time it was your turn to be silent. “ It was only one time, I was having a bad night and I was missing you so much I just- I needed somebody, and she was there and god (Y/N) please just say something. “ he pleaded with you, begging for a response from you. You weighed your options carefully in your head. There was nothing you wanted to do more than scream, hit whatever was closest to you and let the sobs that you held back consume you.

“ So that’s it then ? “ you said softly, maintaining your composure. You wouldn’t let him hear you cry. 

“ (Y/N) it’s just so hard without you here, I think we’re just going in different directions. You know nothing is more important to me than this game, I can’t let this keep affecting me the way it is, It’s hurting me, it’s all I can think about, and It’s starting to show on the court I just, I can’t let that happen. What happened with that girl, it was a mistake but it opened my eyes. “ You mentally cursed yourself for ever letting this happen in the first place. You knew what you’d gotten yourself into, you knew that the game would always be more important to him, so why did a part of you always think that you held a corner of his heart that was just as important? You’d been wrong. 

“ I understand- goodbye Toruu- “ 

“ (Y/N) wait-! “ You hung up the phone, sitting in complete silence for a moment, taking it all in. Your eyes shifted towards the photo on your nightstand, one of you and him together, smiling like idiots on your first ever getaway together. Letting out a wail, you reached for it, using your full force to throw it across the room and watch it shatter to pieces on the floor, just like he’d done to your heart. That night, you wailed into your pillow until the sun came up. 

You felt sick for the next few months, a former shell of yourself as you went through the motions of your life. You took time to mourn the loss of your relationship, three years of your life that had gone to waste. It got easier as time went on, and you’d picked up the pieces of your heart, putting it back together with the excitement of a new chapter of your life, one that focused on you. During your time with Toruu, you hadn’t realized yourself slowly giving up the things that you loved to support him. You’d started skipping classes to make it to his games, and you’d completely compromised your sleep schedule to talk to him. Those last few months with him, you were no longer (F/N) (L/N), you were Oikawa’s girlfriend and that was your identity alone. You’d taken the time to start channeling your heartbreak into your studies, working relentlessly until you were at the top of your class. You’d joined the University’s dance team, something you’d stopped participating in once you got to University so that you could spend more time with Oikawa. You didn’t realize how much you missed it until your first official ‘ performance. ‘ Despite the devastating heartbreak you’d gone through, with time you realized that it took losing him to find yourself again. In a strange, bittersweet way, you felt grateful to him for that. 

With the good days came bad ones. There were times that you found yourself thinking about him again, scrolling through his social media and watching his life unfold, or typing out a message to him trying to check in, then deleting it. You’d spoken a few times since the ordeal, checking in on one another, but there came a point when you came to understand the longer you stayed in contact with him, the longer you would carry those feelings you had for him with you, so you’d stopped replying. There were still days that you thought about him, and today was no exception. 

Recently graduated with your doctorate degree in medicine, you were going to become a doctor. Today, you were in your hometown visiting your parents before making the big move to the UK, where you’d found a job at a hospital in London. You’d fallen in love with the city on a visit with your friends last summer, and decided it was about time you got out of Japan for a while. Surely you would find your way back to your roots, but for now, it was time to spread your wings and fly. Your flight left tomorrow, and you found yourself wondering around the city, visiting the places you held near and dear to your heart. Most of those places had a memory of Toruu, and as you walked the streets, you felt as if you could almost see his tall frame leaning against the buildings. Passing by a small restaurant you smiled gently. It was where he’d met your family as your ‘ boyfriend ‘ for the first time. Your father was a hardass, he always had been, and your best friend turned lover was no exception. 

That night you’d sat at a table with him by your side, the eyes of your father hard and looking across the table at the two of you. Oikawa was so nervous that night, he’d always been intimidated by your father, and tonight the tension was thick. He’d questioned Oikawa relentlessly despite already knowing everything about him. You laughed at your boyfriend’s nerves, holding his hand underneath the table. Eventually your father came around to him. You weren’t sure what exactly had happened, but you and your mother had excused yourself to the restroom and when the two of you came back, the two were laughing and talking casually. You’d pestered Oikawa for weeks afterwards, trying to figure out what had happened while you and your mother gossiped about the men in the bathroom.

“ Come on just tell me ! “ you whined as the two of you walked to his house, hand in hand. He looked at you with an ever so teasing smile, motioning a zip on his lips. 

“ You’ll never know. “ he stated, tone light and playful. 

“ You totally did something that won him over and I want to know what! He’s never acted that way with any of my other boyfriends, he’s hated them all but he loved you! “ you sounded a little pushy, but curiosity was getting the better of you. 

“ What can I say? Parents love me! “ The two of you busted out laughing, knowing that his statement was completely inaccurate, but whatever he’d said to your father had won him over completely. To this day, you still didn’t know what happened, but what you did know was that for the rest of the time you were together, your father always had a smile on his face when Oikawa came around. 

Smiling fondly at the memory, you made your way to the park, sitting down on the bench that the two of you would always sit on together, watching the sun go down. It was also the place you’d had your first fight. 

“ Toruu listen to me! “ you’d seethed, face red with anger as you looked up at him. He looked down at you with narrowed eyes, trying to get a read on the situation and maintain control. “ You can’t just stand me up like that, do you have any idea how long I was waiting for you? “ Your voice had raised to a yell. You’d waited for an hour and a half outside of the movie theater. You were supposed to have a date that night, and you felt a fool standing there waiting that long on him. 

“ I told you that practice ran over, what else do you want me to say ? “ he said, his voice monotone, clearly upset with you for being angry about it. 

“ Bullshit ! I texted Iwaizumi and practice had ended, you just stayed after to get some reps in on your own. Admit it Toruu, you stood me up ! “ you yelled, fists clenched by your side as you caught him in his lie. You could see his eyes shift guiltily. 

“ We have the spring semi-finals coming up soon, (Y/N) you know how much this means to me! we have to win ! so what if i stayed a little later and got some reps in, i’m here now ! “ his voice was low, obviously irritated. “ We can catch the movie tomorrow- “ he said, his voice sounded level headed but you could see the anger in his eyes. You didn’t know what else you could say to make him understand. 

“ That’s not the point, you were being selfish! Once again, you choose volleyball over me, big surprise there. That’s literally why all of your relationships end Toruu, don’t you see that? What am I to you- another girl on your list. I’m not putting up with this bullshit you could’ve at least called or texted and let me know and then I- “ You were cut off with the feeling of lips crashing down on your own, and something about his touch always made you melt right into it. Sighing softly, you let your shoulders drop as you surrendered, your tension melting from your body as you leaned into the kiss. Pulling back slowly, he smiled sheepishly down at you. 

“ I’m really sorry (Y/N), I just got so caught up in it. You’re right, I was being selfish, I don’t wanna lose you over this, “ he mumbled gently, pulling you into his chest. you sighed softly, wrapping your arms around him. 

“ I’m not going anywhere. “ you reassured him. That night, he made you forget about what you’d even been mad about in the first place. There were times that you still missed the way he would do that- kiss you in the middle of your sentence. It always felt like such a powerful moment. You couldn’t believe that he’d been able to sweep you off of your feet so easily. A sad smile on your face, you tried not to linger on it as you sat down on the bench watching the sun go down. 

In Puerto Rico, the sun would be coming up soon. Despite the way things ended with Oikawa, you still wished him the best. You hoped that there would be sunny skies, allowing him to play outside. You knew how much he loved that. You hoped that it would be a beautiful day, that he would find joy in every moment of it, and yet, part of you hoped that he would think about you that way you thought about it. It was wishful thinking, but perhaps he would see something today that would remind him of you. Perhaps somebody on the street that looked like you, or maybe he’d be offered a cold glass of lemonade after practice, and he’d remember the many lemonades you’d shared sitting on this very bench. Maybe he would think of you, and one of these things would make him wish that he’d stayed, that he’d stuck it out a little longer to see what could have been. 

Feeling strangely sentimental on your way back to your apartment, you sighed softly, shuffling through the maze that was currently your residence, boxes stacked high, until one in particular caught your eye. Hesitantly you pulled it out, taking it to your now empty room and sitting on the bed with it. Your fingers shook slightly as you opened it, unveiling the things you’d saved. the heart shaped locket that oikawa had given you, his first gift. The train tickets to your first weekend in Kyoto. The pictures you’d taken in the photobooth at a wedding you’d been guests at together. Eyes softening, your eyes landed on his old high school volleyball jacket. Picking it up, you brought it to your nose, inhaling it and burying your face in it. It still smelt like him. As you wrapped it around your body, you felt a choked sob rise in your throat. You couldn’t tell if they were tears of sadness, or tears of joy for all the lessons that he’d taught you. Your first great love. Wiping your eyes, you laid back on your bed, recalling the last night you’d spent together in Puerto Rico. You hadn’t known then that it would be your last kiss. Tonight you cried, for the love that you’d lost, and the love that you were yet to find. You were grateful to Oikawa in many ways, he’d helped you become the person you were today. Even so...that didn’t stop you from thinking of what you could’ve become had he not left. You fell asleep with the jacket on, letting it lull you to sleep, just like he used to.

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone ! this is my first fic that i've posted, and i really hope you all enjoy ! criticisms are welcomed with open arms ! the fic is based on the song " last kiss " by taylor swift, and if you haven't already, i recommend giving it a listen ! i just got back into the haikyuu fandom and plan on working on a few more of these fics. let me know which characters you'd like to see next ! kudos and comments are very much appreciated, thank you for reading !


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